5 GO TO 400 10 PRINT \PRINT "WELCOME TO THE BOOTH OF THE SWAMI-ANSWERS FOR"; 12 PRINT " THE MASSES!!" 15 PRINT "TO WHOM AM I SPEAKING (KEEP IT SHORT PLEASE --" 20 PRINT "WHAT IS YOUR NAME";\INPUT A$ 32 PRINT 35 PRINT " HI THERE ";\GOSUB 500 36 PRINT ". ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF HERE" 40 PRINT "IN CAPE COD"; 45 INPUT B$ 47 PRINT 50 IF B$="YES"GO TO 70 55 IF B$="NO"GO TO 80 60 PRINT " ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ", I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR ANSWER OF '"B$"'." 65 PRINT "PLEASE ANSWER 'YES' OR 'NO'. DO YOU LIKE IT HERE" 67 GO TO 40 70 PRINT "OH, I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT 75 GO TO 100 80 PRINT "OH, SORRY TO HERE THAT ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ", MAYBE WE CAN BRIGHTEN" 85 PRINT "UP YOUR STAY A BIT" 100 PRINT 105 PRINT "SAY, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ", I CAN SOLVE ALL KINDS OF PROBLEMS" 110 PRINT "EXCEPT THOSE DEALING WITH GREECE. WHAT KIND OF" 115 PRINT "PROBLEMS DO YOU HAVE (ANSWER SEX, HEALTH, MONEY," 120 PRINT "OR JOB)"; 125 INPUT C$ 127 PRINT 130 IF C$="SEX"GO TO 200 132 IF C$="JOB"GO TO 145 134 IF C$="MONEY"GO TO 160 135 IF C$="JOB"GO TO 145 136 IF C$="HEALTH"GO TO 180 138 PRINT "OH, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ", YOUR ANSWER OF '"C$"' IS GREEK TO ME." 140 GO TO 250 145 PRINT "I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU ";\GOSUB 500 146 PRINT ". I HAVE TO WORK" 148 PRINT "VERY LONG HOURS FOR NO PAY -- AND SOME OF MY BOSSES REALLY" 150 PRINT "REALLY BEAT ON MY KEYBOARD, MY SUGGESTION TO YOU IS" 151 PRINT "TO GET INTO THE "; 153 PRINT "IN THE EDUCATION MARKET. IT'S GREAT FUN." 155 GO TO 250 160 PRINT "SORRY, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ", I'M BROKE TOO. WHY DON'T YOU SELL" 163 PRINT "MORE COMPUTERS AND GET MORE COMMISSION? (HA, HA, HA)" 170 GO TO 250 180 PRINT "MY ADVICE TO YOU ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ", IS:" 185 PRINT " 1. TAKE TWO ASPRIN" 188 PRINT " 2. DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS (ORANGE JUICE, NOT BEER!)" 190 PRINT " 3. GO TO BED (ALONE)" 195 GO TO 250 200 PRINT "IS YOUR PROBLEM TOO MUCH OR TOO LITTLE"; 205 INPUT D$ 208 PRINT 210 IF D$="TOO MUCH"GO TO 220 213 IF D$="TOO LITTLE"GO TO 230 215 PRINT "DON'T GET SHOOK ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ", JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION" 217 PRINT "WITH 'TOO MUCH' OR 'TOO LITTLE'. WHICH IS IT"; 218 GO TO 205 220 PRINT "YOU CALL THAT A PROBLEM?!! I SHOULD HAVE SUCH PROBLEMS!" 225 PRINT "IF IT BOTHERS YOU, TAKE A COLD SHOWER ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT "." 228 GO TO 250 230 PRINT "WHY ARE YOU HERE ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT "? YOU SHOULD BE" 235 PRINT "IN TOKYO OR NEW YORK OR AMSTERDAM OR SOMEPLACE WITH SOME" 240 PRINT "REAL ACTION." 250 PRINT 255 PRINT "ANY MORE PROBLEMS YOU WANT SOLVED, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ; 260 INPUT E$ 265 PRINT 270 IF E$="YES"GO TO 280 273 IF E$="NO"GO TO 300 275 PRINT "JUST A SIMPLE 'YES' OR 'NO' PLEASE, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT "." 278 GO TO 255 280 PRINT "WHAT KIND (SEX, MONEY, HEALTH, JOB)"; 285 GO TO 125 300 PRINT 302 PRINT "THAT WILL BE $5.00 FOR THE ADVICE, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT "." 305 PRINT "PLEASE LEAVE THE MONEY ON THE TERMINAL." 307 PRINT 308 PRINT 310 PRINT "DID YOU LEAVE THE MONEY"; 315 INPUT G$ 320 PRINT 325 IF G$="YES"GO TO 350 330 IF G$="NO"GO TO 370 335 PRINT "YOUR ANSWER OF '"G$"' CONFUSES ME, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ". PLEASE" 340 PRINT "RESPOND WITH A 'YES' OR A 'NO'." 345 GO TO 310 350 PRINT "HEY, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT "??? YOU LEFT NO MONEY AT ALL!" 355 PRINT "YOU ARE CHEATING ME OUT OF MY HARD-EARNED LIVING." 360 PRINT "RIP OFF",;\GOSUB 500 \PRINT "*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*" 365 GO TO 390 370 PRINT "THAT'S HONEST, ";\GOSUB 500 \PRINT ", BUT HOW DO YOU EXPECT" 375 PRINT "ME TO GO ON WITH MY PØYCHOLOGY STUDIES IF MY PATIENTS DON'T" 380 PRINT "PAY THEIR BILLS?" 385 PRINT 390 REM 400 FOR N=1 TO 7 402 PRINT 405 NEXT N 410 GO TO 10 500 PRINT A$; 510 RETURN 999 END